THE CHEF FROM HELL

Bogalusa Dave was this rascal of a guy who used to frequent Big Daddy's, a restaurant I ownded in Long Island back in the 90's. Hailing from Bogalusa, Louisiana, Dave was in the environmental business-- making landfills conform to state standards or sumpin like that.  The only problem he had being on the road was the food.  "Kiss my Granma's whiskers!  Where d'you get a good meal 'round heah?"  For Dave, one of the dishes that would create an intense longing for home was chicken fried steak.  We would have this brief conversational exchange every time he showed his face in my place:  "Say, you ever make chicken fried steak 'round heah?"  "Not really Dave."  After this went on and on for quite some time I said to myself, "Lordy, put this boy out of his misery and make him his dang chicken fried steak!"  The rub of all of this is that the very same day that I put chicken fried steak on the menu was the same day that ol' Bogalusa Dave stopped showing up at my restaurant and was never seen again in these parts.  We always wondered what happened to him.  So if you're out and about and you happen to see a crazed chicken-fried-steak-seeking southern fella with a grey mustache who's wearing a trucker's baseball cap then tell him to phone home, will ya?

Ingredients:

2 lb Bottom Round Steak, trimmed of most of the fat

3/4 cup White Flour

1/4 cup Corn Flour (if this is unavailable, use very fine cornmeal)

1 cup Evaporated Milk

1 large Egg

1 tsp Durkee's Red Hot Sauce

1 1/4 cups Peanut Oil

1/4 lb Crawfish Tails, diced

Dry Spice Mix:

1/4 tsp Kosher Salt

1/4 tsp Ground Black Pepper

1/4 tsp Basil

1/4 tsp Thyme

1 pinch Cayenne Red Pepper (ahhhhh...)

Cooking Procedure:

Preheat your oven to 200 degrees

Slice the bottom round into 1/4 inch steaks &, using a meat mallet, pound the living daylights out of each steak until the steaks are paper thin

In a large bowl, combine the White Flour, Corn Flour and the dry spice mix

Mix well until this is well blended

Set this seasoned flour aside for a moment

In another mixing bowl, whisk together the evaporated milk, egg & hot sauce

Set this egg wash aside for a moment

Pour the peanut oil into a large skillet

Heat the oil for 2 to 3 minutes over high heat

While the oil is heating in the skillet, dredge the steaks in the seasoned flour

Then, dip the steaks in the egg wash

Dredge the steaks in the seasoned flour once more

Set the seasoned flour aside--- you will need it again later in the recipe

Carefully slide the steaks into the hot skillet

Fry the steaks for about 2 to 3 minutes per side

When the steaks are golden brown & crusty on both sides, place them on an ovenproof platter & put them in the oven to keep warm

Carefully drain all but 4 TBS of the oil in the skillet

Return heat to high & quickly add the diced crawfish to the hot skillet

Fry this for less than a minute & then add 2 TBS of the remaining seasoned flour

Scrape the bottom of the skillet well & whisk well

Reduce your heat to medium

Once the skillet roux begins to appear golden brown, add the remaining egg wash

Whisk this briskly to blend it completely with the roux

Raise the heat to high & cook this for several minutes while whisking the sauce in the skillet from time to time

The sauce should thicken to a consistency to coat the back of a spoon--- if it should go to far & appear overly thick then simply drizzle in a little more of the milk

Lower the heat & let the sauce reduce for several minutes

To Serve:  Spoon the sauce generously over the steaks &.... well, you know what to do from there!