THE CHEF FROM HELL

Each week we chronicle the food news of the world through the day-to-day adventures of America's favorite consumers, Frank & Marge!

 July 30th

Frank loved going to the Chi-Chi Cha-Cha Gourmet Food Mart on Main street.  He loved bringing home some of the unusual delicacies that he found while browsing in the store.  Today, he had brought home a big can of El Toro Horsemeat Pate and Marge couldn't stop talking about it.  "Frank! These earthy flavors are heavenly!"

From the Humanity For Animals website: "Why can't Congress pass a law that once and for all bans the slaughter of horses in the United States?  Horses do not figure in the nation's diet after all, and they make up less of the food we feed our carnivorous pets than in years past.  Yet American horses for generations been slaughtered, not only for pet food but also to satisfy the demands of an international market avid for horsemeat.  In 2006, according to the Humane Society of the United States, more than 100,000 horses slaughtered domestically for export to places such as France, Italy and Japan, while while another 30,000 horses were shipped to plants in Mexico, Japan and Canada for slaughter there.  The numbers are much the same thus far in 2007: as of mid-July, according to the U.S. Dept. of Agriculture, 53,997 American horses had been slaughtered here and abroad."

 August 2nd

Frank was only half listening to the news report on tv that was discussing the rise in food prices due to ethanol production.  Taking a sip from his Dr. Lazlo Organic Beer, Frank laughed to himself, "Thank God they don't make beer with corn!  Ha Ha!"

From the Forbes.com site: "Johnston, Iowa: Ethanol producers are clamoring over food industry claims that prices on everything from popcorn to soda are skyrocketing because of the rising demand for corn to make the renewable fuel.  Ethanol backers in Iowa focused their ire on the idustry, particularly the popcorn market, during a news conference Wednesday.  'We're here today to pop the popcorn propaganda bubble,' said Monte Shaw, executive director of the Iowa Renewable Fuels Assocation.  Standing in front of 11 large plastic bags containing 38.5 pounds of popcorn, Shaw claimed a person could buy that amount directly from a farmer for $5.  Some food companies argue that escalating food prices, sparked by the increasing demand for ethanol, has forced them to raise prices for items containing corn, including meat and dairy products from animals that are fed the grain.  It's been dubbed the 'food-versus-fuel debate."

 August 3rd

Frank and Marge loved having their neighbors, The Cuds, over on Saturday nights.  No matter what else Marge and Frank had planned, the Cuds always wanted to play a rousing game of charades just before dinner!

From the News In Science site: "Orangutans Play Charades To Get Food!  Frustrated orangutans resort to playing charades to obtain their favorite foods, according to new research.  Since charades relies upon an awareness of what others do and do not understand, scientists now believe that orangutans, and probably all other apes, have the ability to adjust their communication stratagies to get their points across."

 August 3rd

Frank burst through the front door yelling, "Hey Marge!  Look at the great deal I got at the Dollar Mart!  I bought 12 cans of Bison Stew and 10 cans of Green Beans, all for just a buck!  We're gonna put on the old feedbag tonight honey!!"

From the Anchorage Daily News website: "Hold Put On Suspect Canned Food!  Several food-assistance programs in Alaska have stopped giving away a brand of canned stew banned from sale by the federal government in the current botulism scare.  Some people who depend on the aid programs for their groceries already have received the 24-ounce cans of Castleberry's Beef Stew and its Bison Stew, the suspect items, according to program directors."

Also from the Reuters site: "U.S. issues new botulism warning for green beans!  Consumers should not eat certain brands of French-cut green beans because of concerns they could be tainted with the toxin that causes botulism, U.S. health officials warned on Friday.  The green beans were manufactured by Lakeside Foods Inc. of Manitowoc, Wisconsin, and packaged in 14.5-ounce cans, the Food and Drug Administration said.  The FDA said the beans may not have been processed adequately to eliminate the potential for botulinum toxin, which can cause a life-threatening illness."

 August 4th

Marge stared alarmingly at Frank as he gnawed on his corn on the cob.  His whole body began to tremble and his eyes were as wide as saucers!  Marge took another sip from her glass of Pig Pen Spiced Gin and thought, "Holy Moses!  He looks just like Elvis Presley singing that dirty music!"

From the abc.net site: "Food Regulator Amends Code For GM Corn!  Food Standards Australia New Zealand (FSANZ) has, for the first time, amended its food safety code to approve for human consumption a genetically modified corn designed for animal feed.  Biotech giant Monsanto applied to have the code amended so it could sell its GM high-lycine corn, called LY038, in Australia and New Zealand.  LY038 has been engineered to have high levels of amino acid, lysine, in combination with high levels of sugar up to four times the amount found in conventional sweet corn.  When fed to livestock the high-energy food speeds growth and muscle development, especially in poultry and pigs.  But a storm is brewing on both sides of the Tasman over the GM corn's approval for human consumption.  Greenpeace alleges Monsanto applied to have the food standard changed because the company anticipates there could accidental contamination of the human food chain even though LY038 is specifically designed for animals."