THE CHEF FROM HELL

Today, as I was taking my morning walk around the neighborhood, my mind began to drift away into a fog of silly notions.  Whistling under my breath as I walked along, I started to speculate as to what it would be like if some famous personalities from the past were part of today's food blogging community.  Hmmmmm.....

Jack Kerouac -  Based in Lowell, MA, Kerouac's blog, On The Table, won the 2006 Blogger's Choice Award in the socal activist food category.  He blogs about current issues in the American food production system.  Excerpt from most recent blog post:  "The charging restless mute unvoiced bacon keening in a seizure of tarpaulin power."

Mamie Eisenhower --  Mamie writes her blog, Cooking With Mamie, out of a small farmhouse in Gettysburg, PA and enjoys posting recipes that involve fudge. She was a big hit at this year's BlogHer convention where she dazzled the crowd with a flaming hard boiled egg jello-mold!  Excerpt from most recent blog post:  "Every cook over fifty should stay in bed until noon."

Gertrude Stein -- Gertie's blog, Escargotsquad, originates from the Left Bank area of Paris where she maintains a pied-a-terre on the Rue de Cassoulet.  A longtime favorite of food blog readers in Europe, her slightly eccentric blog posts feature colorful illustrations by her close friend, Pablo.  Stein's college roomie, Alice B. Toklas, makes occasional guest posts whenever Gertie's out of town visiting a nearby Swiss health spa.  Excerpt from most recent blog post:  "A casserole is a casserole is a casserole is a casserole."

Vladimir Lenin - One of the first Russian bloggers to emerge on the nascent food blog scene, Vlad's blog, What Is To Be Cooked?, serves up Russian peasant recipes that are seasoned with socio-economic culinary commentary.  Excerpt from most recent blog post:  "Any cook should be able to run the country."

Groucho Marx - Groucho, a retired comedian from the Catskills, posts his Animal Crackers blog from The Cherry Hill Senior Citizens Community Center in upstate New York.  Amid rumors of a possible book deal with Random House, Groucho recently stated, "I did toy with the idea of doing a cookbook.  I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right."  Excerpt from most recent blog post:  "Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like a banana."

Hunter S. Thompson - Thompson, whose Fear & Loathing In The Kitchen blog emanates from Owl Creek, Colorado, is known for his edgy take on the various issues that confront the home cook.  Excerpt from most recent blog post:  "Civilization ends at the waistline.  Beyond that, we all enter the food chain, and not always right at the top."

Jimi Hendrix -  Based in Seattle, Washington, Jimi writes what he calls "a cosmic soul food blog."  The Hendrix blog, Neon Rainbow Barbecue, has received accolades from the mainstream press for its unique style which harkens back to the 1960's psychedelic era.  Excerpt from most recent blog post:  "Even souffles made of sand, fall into the sea, eventually."

Mark Twain - Twain, who collaborates on his Hannibal's Cannibals blog with his two young sons, Huck and Tom, is based out of Hannibal, Missouri and enjoys posting about the buccolic pleasures of Southern food.  Excerpt from most recent blog post:  "The confabulation of our gumbo had drawn many curious spectators in town, including our next door neighbor, Old Jim." 

Charlie "Bird" Parker -- Charlie's blog, Salt Peanuts, is located in the Greenwich Village area of New York city and focuses primarily on reviews of food purchased from street vendors.  His unusual style of adding jazz lingo to his blog posts ("bloop bleep blahh! the pretzel cart at Columbus Circle is run by Julio and is quite the epicurean find!") can be disconcerting but he has many loyal readers.  Every October, his good friend Charles Schultz guest blogs with some great pumpkin recipes.  Excerpt from most recent blog post:  "Flip flop floy!  Susie's Empanadas in midtown are a stone joy!"

W.C. Fields - Bill writes his blog, The Fatal Glass Of Beer, out of a one room apartment near the Santa Anita racetrack in California.  His blog posts are renowned for their whimsical take on cooking with potent potables.  Excerpt from most recent blog post:  "Somebody left the cork out of my lunch."

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